By Bosun Bankole
Relationships are about intimacy. It is a decision by two people to open up their inner selves to each other. Relationships are about connection. It involves granting and receiving an access to connect with some other person emotionally, intellectually, socially, physically and spiritually. It is about loving someone and showing that love in every morally acceptable way. However, being in a relationship and being emotionally imprisoned are two different things entirely.
You are emotionally imprisoned if you find it difficult to leave a relationship that deprived you of freedom, focus and peace. You are emotionally imprisoned if the person you are in a relationship with always manipulates you to do his/her bidding against your opinion or will. If your spouse confines your life to his/her rules and regulations without allowing you the same privilege you are emotionally imprisoned. Emotional prisons are guarded and controlled by emotional prison wardens who are never wrong or sorry.
Love is not enough reason to remain emotionally imprisoned. You cannot be pleasantly tolerating someone and expect to have the strength to do away with that person. If you are emotionally imprisoned you must accept you have a problem and be willing to seek help. The movie series ‘Prison Break’ portrayed the relentless effort of a man who wanted to break out of a physical prison. The same desperation is required when breaking out of an emotional prison. You must make up your mind to break out and start making plans to do so.
The root of most emotional ties is sex. All thanks to the release of oxytocin during sex which intensifies bonding amongst sexual partners. An emotional prison warden is not a friend. You cannot be sleeping with the enemy and expect to fight a war without your feelings getting in the way.
Develop your own support system. The more dependent you are on an emotional prison warden, the tougher it will be to leave that person. Rebuild your relationship with trusted friends and freely allow yourself to be showered with a well-deserved love from your family members. You need a boost of happiness from some other sources other than your spouse.
Get help. You need to get help according to what your situation demands either legal, spiritual or psychological help. In some tough situations, emotional prison wardens could get physically violent, so you may need the backing of the law to fight.
Get busy. You need something to distract you so your heart does not keep wandering back to the emotional prison warden. Find out what your purpose is and start to pursue it.
Take your leave the moment you make up your mind to. One of the reasons why people find it difficult to break off faulty relationships is because of the length of time invested in such relationships. The longer you stay the more difficult it will be to leave.
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